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Intact America Part 7: Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

October 13, 2018 Seeing Joe DiMaggio dining a few tables away, singer Paul Simon walked over and introduced himself. DiMaggio invited Simon to sit down, and the two immediately began to discuss the line in the song "Mrs. Robinson." The iconic baseball star was perplexed. "What I don't understand is why you ask where I've gone. I just did a Mr. Coffee commercial, I'm a spokesman for the Bowery Savings Bank and I haven't gone anywhere!" The singer explained the line wasn't intended literally. Rather, he saw Joltin' Joe as a genuine American hero, and "genuine heroes were in short supply." [1]

Forty years later Intact America tried to cash in on DiMaggio's legacy. During the Hironimus hysteria, the organization posted DiMaggio's photo and asked, “What would ‘Joltin Joe’ think if he knew that the children’s hospital that bears his name is promoting the forced circumcision of healthy, normal kids?”

Although the question may have been posed as rhetorical, it took us just a few minutes to find an answer. Searching Google for "circumcision" and "Joe DiMaggio," we located a biography that reported that the Yankee Clipper once participated in a Jewish ritual circumcision. DiMaggio served as sandek, the highest honor and one normally reserved for a grandfather; he held the baby while the mohel made the snip. [2] So it’s likely that Joltin' Joe would be honored to learn that the hospital that bears his name provides a safe environment for trained medical professionals to circumcise baby boys.

A reader might ask, "So what? It's a harmless mistake. What does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?"

It matters because it represents how Intact America operates.

While Paul Simon honored Joe DiMaggio's legacy, Intact America tried to cash in on his legacy. Whereas Simon yearned for the return of genuine heroes, Intact America just wants to exploit them for its own partisan purpose.

In this series, we've documented that Intact America gets little things and big things wrong. It isn't just that Intact America makes baseless assumptions, such as that any uncircumcised man would find no value in circumcision. The group spreads falsehoods, distorts statements, takes quotes out of context, and flat-out lies. Intact America gets it wrong All. The. Time.

And they don't care.

Intact America doesn't care that they spread false and misleading information. They don't care that their followers harass, bully, and threaten parents and doctors on a daily basis. They don't care that girls in the United States are suffering genital mutilation while intactivists are phoning in bomb threats to hospitals. Intact America doesn’t care about boys or girls or privacy rights or facts or evidence or reason or sanity. The organization has a single-minded obsession with the foreskin, and their worldview is based on the idea that removing the foreskin is the root of all evil. Anyone who questions their agenda is an enemy. Spreading false and misleading information, distorting policy statements, and stoking hatred are acceptable methods. Demeaning parents and threatening medical professionals and staff are acceptable methods. Mocking and insulting happily circumcised men are acceptable.

The group considers the foreskin to be more important than a man's fingers - and an uncircumcised penis the most important organ in the human body. [3] To Intact America the foreskin is the holy grail, venerating it as one would an object of worship. Intact America appears willing to do virtually anything to preserve a loose flap of skin. Nothing else seems to matter to them.

[1] Paul Simon; "The Silent Superstar"; New York Times; March 9, 1999

[2] Richard Ben Cramer; “Joe DiMaggio: The Hero’s Life”, p 492; Simon & Schuster; 2001

[3] Georganne Chapin; "Thresholds"; KPFT Radio - Houston, Texas; June 10, 2016. (Quote begins at 19:15.) "Men have one penis. And it's the most important - that and your mouth, to take in nutrition, are the most important parts of the body for perpetuation of the human species! Right? I mean, you can procreate and live a hundred years without your fingers. Right? but why are we messing with the most important organ that a human being possesses?"

We offer two observations. First, there's no evidence that circumcision impedes the perpetuation of the human species. The large size of Muslim and Orthodox Jewish families suggests it has no effect. And second, while the Intact America leader is entitled to her opinion, we're confident that rational people would rank the brain, followed by the heart and lungs, as the most important organs in the human body.

October 13: Part 7 - Conclusion: Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?


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